Monday, September 19, 2005


Now that summer is ending, I'm really going to miss this:

Splash Posted by Picasa

and this:

Drink Posted by Picasa

and this:

Swing! Posted by Picasa

But I can't help but be excited for new things that Noelle will be doing. There will soon be leaves to crunch, maybe puddles to splash, and later, snow to eat and make angels in.

I try not to ever say "I can't wait until..." because that makes me feel like I'm wishing away today. Instead, I try to say "It'll be so fun when..." because it will, and I don't want to rush through things with her just so she can see the next bigger, better thing.

We were outside swinging the other night and I swear I could've stayed right there and pushed her through the wind for the rest of my life. That was a good, sweet moment.

I try to slow down when I'm with her, because really, sadly, I don't have that much time with her since I have to work. I try to commit every second to memory. To remember her laugh at a certain silly face, or remember her expression when she figures something out. I wish I could say that I always do that, but still, some nights I'm tired and wish she would just go to sleep already!

Usually though, I am completely content to sit at home and stack things and knock them over 147 times in a row. Or watch a video on continuous play the same number of times, just because that's what she wants to do.

I hope that she always knows that I will drop anything and everything for her, any and every time she needs me. I hope she knows that I'm at work all day for her and not because I want to leave her.

I'm so excited for every next day and every next thing she does and sees. I love to watch her wonder when she sees new things, and see her concentrate so hard on something until she figures it out. Or throws it across the room in frustration because it obviously must be broken.

This mom thing is more amazing than I ever thought it would be, and it's the biggest, most important thing that I will ever do. These last (almost) 18 months have been the craziest, most frustrating, most rewarding, most fun that I have ever had. The next 18+ have big shoes to fill.

I can't wait - um, I mean - it'll be so fun to see what's next!


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